Early in their careers, many HR professionals found themselves tolerating behaviors, practices or workplace norms that chipped away at their time, confidence or value. From blurred boundaries and unclear expectations to toxic behaviors and performative inclusion, these experiences were once accepted as part of the job.
With experience, perspective and a stronger sense of self-advocacy, those same professionals now know when—and how—to push back. Below, Forbes Human Resources Council members discuss what they once tolerated, but no longer accept, as they’ve grown wiser and more confident in their careers.
I would sit quietly, not speak up, allowing others to speak on my behalf as I didn't think my opinion mattered, especially being the only female on the leadership team for more than half of my career. I've come to realize the importance of speaking up about concerns or ideas because my interest is what is best for the organization, as oftentimes those who speak up are doing so for their own agenda. - Heather Smith, Flimp
I used to tolerate urgency without clarity—reacting quickly to ambiguous requests just to appear helpful. Now, I pause and ask, “What are we solving for?” Setting that expectation protects your time and ensures your energy is aligned with what actually moves the business forward. - Nicole Brown, Ask Nikki HR
I used to accept leaders disguising toxic behaviors as high expectations. Harsh criticism, micromanagement and even public shaming can be framed as driving performance, but chip away at morale and create an environment where psychological safety is nonexistent. Leadership is about clarity, consistency and care. - Britton Bloch, Navy Federal
I tolerated women—including myself—being handed all the unbillable, admin and social tasks. Not anymore. Overhead work must be shared fairly, not assigned based on outdated gender norms. The days of invisible labor falling disproportionately on women are over. I advocate for equity in all contributions. - Hayley Bakker, beqom
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I once permitted decisions and discussions that ignored timing, context and the dynamics in the room. I learned the importance of reading the room before speaking and making decisions. Rushing to contribute without understanding the dynamics can backfire. That can’t happen anymore—reading the room first isn’t optional, it’s the difference between friction and meaningful progress. - Sheena Minhas, ST Microelectronics
I often waited for my efforts to be noticed before asking for a raise or promotion. Over time, I have learned the importance of advocating for myself and others. I now approach these conversations proactively, using data and clear examples to negotiate fairly and ensure contributions are recognized. - Sherry Martin
I endured blurred boundaries—taking on extra work without proper recognition or clarity. Now, however, I no longer accept such behavior. Advocating for myself and others requires setting clear expectations, aligning work to goals and making sure contributions are valued rather than overlooked. - Sherri Reese, Salisbury University
I tolerated high performers who were toxic to the culture, excusing their behavior because of their results. I thought protecting output meant protecting the business. Experience taught me the opposite: results without respect corrode trust, drive away talent and set a precedent that culture is negotiable. Now I draw a hard line: performance that undermines people isn’t success, it’s a liability. - Katrina Jones
Early in my career, helping job seekers, I tolerated unclear expectations, accepting roles or projects without defined goals, resources or success measures. Now, I would like to have clarity upfront. Clear parameters not only protect my time and energy but also set the stage for better outcomes for myself and those I support. - CJ Eason, JobFairGiant.com
I let colleagues interrupt, dismiss or talk over me. I felt I had to earn the right to speak, or that pushing back was "not aligning" or "being a team player." Now I speak up. Not just for myself, but for others who feel they can't. Silence isn’t politeness, it’s erasure. Every time a woman reclaims her voice, she makes it easier for the next one to do the same. - Dana Garaventa, GPHR, PHR, Opus One Winery LLC
I tolerated performative inclusion. Early in my career, I stayed quiet when culture was celebrated publicly but ignored in policy and practice. Now, I speak up when inclusion lacks depth or follow-through. I’ve learned that advocating for myself also means challenging systems that limit others and creating space where authenticity is protected, not penalized. - Apryl Evans, USA for UNHCR
Earlier in my career, I would have tolerated more competing demands on my time. I am now more comfortable about saying "no" or providing an alternative option that does not involve me but benefits another colleague's development. - Angela O'Donovan, UCC
I condoned being viewed as a clerical worker rather than a strategic business partner. Now, with my experience and confidence, I no longer accept that. HR has a seat at the table, and I advocate for myself and others by ensuring people strategy is seen as integral to business success. - Liz Corey, On The Grow Leadership
When I first started out, I often accepted open-ended promises like “take on this extra work now and it will lead to a promotion.” Over time, I’ve learned the importance of defining what growth looks like and how it will be measured. Now, it's all about setting clear milestones, measurables and timelines so opportunities for advancement are transparent and achievable. - JacLyn Pagnotta, Rose Associates Inc.
Early in my career, I tolerated tech decisions that excluded key voices because we all assumed leaders or “the system” knew best. Now, in an AI-enabled workplace, I push for inclusive design from the start. Agentic AI is powerful, but without diverse human input, it can amplify bias. Today, I insist on governance frameworks that ensure AI supports equity, transparency and success for every employee - Dr. Timothy J. Giardino, myWorkforceAgents.ai
I used to believe that my experience at work was a monologue—my employer shared the call to action, and I complied. What I've come to realize is that the employee experience is an ongoing dialogue between employee and employer, and that every employee has agency to declare what work needs to look like so it works for them. - David Bator, Achievers
You can’t be a team-first contributor if you have an overactive self-interest. I used to tolerate people who were intensely focused on their needs and success, but I came to see that we need to flip the script. By working outside-in to ensure the team’s collective needs are addressed, we can accomplish more and elevate all team members. Think wolf pack versus lone wolf. - Matt Poepsel, The Predictive Index
